It’s been almost a month that I have decided to take a “break” from social media. You know how it goes, “It’s not you, it’s me…” But this time that isn’t just a cliché excuse to break up, it’s really what it is. I felt that I needed to do this for me.

For years I’ve been aware that I am on my phone more than I would like to admit, John has had no shame in pointing it out to me. I’ve been on multiple social media platforms starting back in high school; Myspace, Facebook, Twitter. Instagram, Snapchat- you name it. It seems like once we start feeling bored of one, we hear about another one that’s popping so BOOM- we make a new account to follow the same people we have on all the other platforms or the same 5 friends. (Cue the rolling eyes emoji) It makes no sense but we all do it.

It forces us to stay plugged into our phones because we see it as a way to unwind, pass the time, relieve stress, or keep up with the latest news, gossip, and trends. I’m guilty too, believe me. But something clicked and told me that I needed to see what life was like outside of the bubble… so I deleted them. Not the profiles themselves (don’t get crazy), but I deleted all the social media apps from my phone, I removed the temptation and immediate gratification. I knew this was the only way to really cleanse myself.

So here’s what I learned in these short weeks on the outside:

1.  We are unconsciously on social media.

For the first few days after deleting all the apps I would instinctively click on the spot where they used to be on my phone. “Oh shit, that’s right…” We spend more time than we intend to on social media because it’s become a habit. A habit is an involuntary action as a result of repeated behavior. It’s a habit that when we are bored we unlock our phones, click, and start scrolling… and before we know it 20-30 minutes have gone by and we’ve gotten sucked in. We have to make a conscious effort to stop the auto-pilot if not we will spend hours on social media without even realizing it. My solution to the mindless scrolling was removing the apps. Just knowing that I have to go through the hassle of downloading it and logging it allows me to think about it long enough to not trigger that behavior.

2.  We have to unplug to recharge. 

Alarm rang- cellphone in hand. “That’s the motto nigga, YOLO.” But seriously, that was my morning routine. I would open Instagram as quickly as I opened my eyes. Even before getting out of bed I was already perusing what I missed in the hours I was asleep. I can tell you without a doubt that this isn’t the morning routine of the individuals on the Forbes list. The most successful people in the world have a morning routine that we should all strive for. They’re early risers, most who exercise and set their goals before ever checking their emails or social media apps. Their needs come first and we all need to follow suit and put our own needs before checking in with the world.

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3.  Everyone has “Nomophobia”

No I didn’t make that up, it stands for – NO MObile PHone PhoBIA.

It’s a 21^st century first world syndrome. Everyone, everywhere seems to be on their phone and I never noticed until I put mine down. In restaurants, families go out to eat and don’t even exchange a word. The parents are on their phones, the children on their tablets, and it’s complete silence- minus when they speak to the waitress to place their orders. Driving- it used to be driving and texting on the sly while at a red light, not anymore. Now I see people straight up video chatting, Snap-chatting, scrolling while driving, and what feels like writing dissertations. My biggest concern with this is that if you’re a parent, you know that children are sponges, they are copying what they see. I don’t want to raise my child to not know how to interact face to face so that begins with me. Taking the time to be present to model that behavior for her so she knows that being plugged in all the time isn’t how things should be.

4.  Keeping up with Joneses is affecting our mental health.

I’ve never been big on watching the news. Yes. I know “its important to know what’s going on in the world.” But personally for me, it’s negativity overload and honestly social media was starting to feel a lot like watching the news. No matter how much we try to follow positive people, scroll over negative posts, and the videos of shootings, killings, fights, etc…. Some of it seeps in. Being out of the loop seems to be a good thing to do for mental health these days. In my mind, I was using social media to relax but it was actually doing the opposite, the things I was seeing daily were only causing me more stress.

5.   Everything in Moderation

This is something I grew up hearing from my parents and its still very true in every aspect of life. In the past few weeks I’ve “cleansed” myself of social media by finding a new normal, more moderation in how I use it. Without realizing it, I was wasting time and causing myself unnecessary stress because of a negative habit I wasn’t even aware that I had in the first place. 

Don’t get me wrong, I think social media is wonderful in some aspects- people can reconnect with old family/friends, we see people’s achievements and rites of passage, people have built successful businesses but on the other hand it can consume you if you let it. I like not waking up and not clicking on notifications that lead me to mindlessly scrolling social media before I’m even really awake. I like being present when I have dinner with my family and playtime with my daughter. I’ve had to come to understand that it’s okay to not post right away, the world isn’t going to end.

Some of the best moments and memories don’t ever make it social media because you’re too busy actually living them.